Healing • Hope • Growth

Samaritan Health & Living Center

An Employee Benefit that Grows Your Business

Employees’ personal problems cause disruption in the workplace and an overall lack of productivity. A major study demonstrates that these problems result in the average loss of three weeks’ productivity per employee. As an employer, that cost averages $2,400 per employee per year (given an average salary of $40,000). How can you reduce that cost by 80%, and maintain the productivity you need?

By offering an Employee Assistance Program (EAP), you can invest in your business’ success by helping your employees resolve personal concerns before they become major issues:

· You can attract and keep top performers by offering a more valuable employee benefit plan

· You can boost productivity in the workplace by giving employees an easy and confidential way to receive the help they need for managing personal issues

· There will likely be a lower use of sick time as employees take less time off for crises

What exactly is an Employee Assistance Plan?

An EAP is an arrangement between an employer and an organization, such as the Samaritan Center, through which employees may seek counseling at little or no personal cost. Referrals for counseling typically come through the employer’s Human Resources professionals, though some employers also allow self-referral. This benefit to employees involves short-term care (5 sessions is a typical limit); if further care is needed, the employee’s health insurance can then be applied. The Samaritan Center offers EAP sessions at a discounted rate, so the employer gets excellent value from its investment.

EAPs offer assistance in handling:

· Marital and Family Problems

· Emotional Problems

· Relationship Issues and/or Divorce

· Addiction Issues

· Work-related problems

· Grief

· Depression and/or thoughts of suicide

The Samaritan Center can be part of this Employee Assistance Plan. We offer a flexible and affordable approach in which your valued employees can get preventive care, which both reduces productivity losses as well as overall health costs. As in so many business challenges, the keys to success lie in preparation and prevention.

Of course, there is also the benefit to the employer of doing the right thing. What is the value of a family unit saved? A loss of life avoided? The gratitude and loyalty of an employee? Many employers today see the value of preventative and wellness benefits.

To explore this possibility, contact the office at 574-262-3597.

Welcome, Rachel Mickelson, Psy.D.

The Samaritan Center welcomes new therapist Dr. Rachel Mickelson, Psy.D., who joins our staff on June 17. Dr. Mickelson earned an undergraduate degree in psychology and visual arts at Eckerd College in scenic St. Petersburg, Florida (B.A., 1998) and successive graduate degrees in clinical psychology at Argosy University in Chicago (M.A., 2006 and Psy.D., 2010). She completed her clinical internship at the Illinois Institute of Art in Chicago and has returned to her home in Elkhart County.

Dr. Mickelson works primarily with adults and adolescents, and works with a wide range of concerns, including depression, anxiety and relationship problems. She is also trained as a level I EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) practitioner. We are delighted to add Dr. Mickelson to the Samaritan Center staff.

Tech Wounds

What piece of work is the computer, how noble in reason, how infinite in faculties, in form and moving…

(with apologies to Will S.)

Neurologists say that the human brain is an “anticipation machine” forever trying to figure out and prepare for what will happen next. Electronic engineers say that the computer is a machine for making machines. Configure it one way, and a computer becomes a medical analysis machine that can determine whether you have cancer; configure it another way and it becomes a machine for playing solitaire.

I could talk at length about the heights to which tech has risen, and the depths to which it has sunk, but this is a short newsletter. Instead, I’ll mention four ways tech affects the mental health of the people we serve.

· Cell phones have created a new phenomenon, called “continuous partial attention”: the person you’re with is paying attention to you, sort of, between writing and reading texts, and taking calls. At a business meeting, several participants tune out from time to time to check email on their laptops, sneak a peek at the market, and update their to-do lists – and play solitaire. True attunement – the full attention on which healthy relationships thrive – is increasingly rare.

· As texting becomes the modal communication for adolescents and young adults, a whole generation seems to be bypassing the task of learning the skills of face-to-face communication, especially with regard to managing conflict. “It would be too unpleasant to actually talk – I’ll just text.”

· Social networking has created “virtual relationships”, in which people develop involved relationships with (and strong feelings for) people they’ve never met – except through words exchanged on Facebook or a date-matching site or in a chat room. This “thin” communication lends itself to idealization and romanticized feelings about complete strangers, which in turn seems to offer people in unhappy but real relationships a way out. This so often sets people up for painful surprises when they actually meet the person for whom they’ve, say, thrown their marriages away.

· The pernicious industries that profit from human weakness are ever-present, ever-growing, and ever more aggressive. Cyber porn would be Exhibit A, followed by online gambling, spammers, and the like. One commentator invites us to imagine what would happen to cocaine usage if a cocaine spigot were installed in every bedroom in the USA. We’ve installed pornography and gambling spigots, and usage skyrockets.

Because of “tech effects”, some things the Samaritan Center have always offered – like continuous attention and full attunement – seem ever more important and precious. Our resources for building communication skills also become more critical as we work with people who just don’t have them. The couples’ and family work we do takes on added importance as more and more relationships come to us shattered by one spouse’s online “affair.” Our work expands to deal with not only addictive substances (alcohol and other drugs), but also addictive behaviors (cyber porn involvement and online gambling).

Tech has a strong upside, of course, and in any event, it is deeply embedded in all of our lives. For the Elkhart County community, the Samaritan Center’s healing work includes addressing “tech wounds”, and we’ve devoted this issue of Pilgrimage to that topic.

- Gregory A. Hinkle, Ph.D., Executive Director

Summer 2011

Social Skills Are Learned

I have read studies that say aggression is not learned from video games but rather aggressive children tend to be attracted to aggressive games. That may be true, but having worked with many children over the years, I know that children learn their social and problem-solving skills not only from role models (like their parents and peers) but also from their play. Children use their play to learn social skills, work through dilemmas, and gain understanding of themselves and others. That is why play therapy with children can be effective. If you have ever watched children play, you know they often use the same language and behaviors they have seen and heard when they are talking with their dolls and in their make-believe.

We live in a fast paced, need-to-be-entertained, instant gratification society. Most video games and DVD movies provide that, and they are more and more portable. There are Play Stations, Internet games, Wii, Xbox, DVD players, phone games…the list goes on and on. The games and activities on them are even more varied: video games can be violent, or sexual in nature. Some teach money management skills or caring for the physical needs of a pet. Some cause us to think quickly and assess situations. They entertain and occupy the child’s time. Wii gets kids moving and video games help with fine motor dexterity. They can also be so addictive that they are all a child wants to do after school.

I am not saying that children shouldn’t play video games. I think children need a wide variety of activities to help them grow into well rounded and well adjusted adults. I encourage parents to monitor closely how children are spending their time. Be sure they have some things that build skills: creative (Lego’s™, arts and craft, make-believe); gross motor (balls, swings); fine motor (scissors, beads); intellectual (books, puzzles); social (friends to interact with, dolls, pretend store/school/farm) to name just a few. Many of these overlap and can be built on through the use of electronics.

My biggest concern with the development of all this technology is that social skills will be lost and children will not develop the types of interpersonal relationships that are necessary for healthy individuals. It is through face-to-face interaction that people feel cared for and learn to trust.

I have heard that 90% of all communication is nonverbal. That is, cues we pick up from tone of voice, facial and hand gestures, eye contact, etc. If the majority of interaction is through media, then one does not learn those skills. Children are not learning to identify their own feelings. I have worked with many teens who have misinterpreted texting language, or have lost friendships due to things posted on Facebook™. People often find it easier to text than to talk with someone. Is talking going to become a lost art?

Know what your children are doing, interact with them and expand their experiences to things outside of the electronics.

- Joyce Menchinger, MSW, LCSW

Summer 2011

What Spell Is the Princess Culture Casting?

It is everywhere. It has infiltrated everything from toys to toothpaste, food to furniture. It has been described as “innocent” and a “phase” of development. It reached $4 billion in sales by 2009 . What is this “it” ?

“It” is the Princess culture: the largest growing franchise on the planet for girls ages two to six.” However, as a parent and therapist (and a female) I wonder about the Princess culture’s impact on both boys and girls.

The passion for “everything Princess” began innocently. A bit of history (courtesy of Peggy Orenstein, author of Cinderella Ate My Daughter): it began in 2000 after a Disney executive attended a “Disney on Ice” show and saw an untapped opportunity. The audience of little girls was dressed in…brace yourself…homemade Princess costumes! The next day, history was made (and this is not a sarcastic exaggeration). Prior to the Princess release, characters from different stories were never put together on the same item. In order to honor the legacy of Roy Disney, “when the ladies appear on the same item, they never make eye contact.”

Princess hysteria did begin innocently: little girls playing dress up. Then, as often happens, the media exploited this innocence. I share Orenstein’s concern: what is Princess culture teaching our little girls about what it means to be female? What are the long-term consequences of the Princess culture on our girls? After all, the Princesses cannot even look at each other. This lack of eye contact is no small detail. Research indicates “the more mainstream media girls consume, the more importance they place on being pretty and sexy.” Is a steady diet of pink Princesses teaching our daughters to value being “pretty and sexy” over being authentic and self-accepting? The more PITs (Princesses in Training) embrace what others (specifically, the media) are telling them about what it means to be female, the more limited their options as to who (and what) they can become.

As I have studied, counseled, and experienced the world of girls, I am deeply troubled by the implicit message a group of females who can’t (or don’t/won’t) make eye contact sends as the gold standard of toys for young girls. These messages about how to communicate are influencing a generation of females and the outcome is alarming. In her book, The Curse of the Good Girl, Rachel Simons explains that teenage girls’ body language communicates what they have been taught not to say directly, and they remain the ever-loved “nice” girls. Of course it is not fair to say that the Princess culture is directly responsible for adolescent females’ indirectness; however, it is a link that warrants some consideration.

There are other Princess characteristics to consider. Their successful future is dependent on a “knight in shining armor” rescuing and taking care of them. Last summer I facilitated a book study with a group of teenage girls, freshmen through seniors. We were reading and discussing The Curse of the Good Girl. I wanted to know if what I was reading was an accurate portrayal of their experience as teenaged young women, so I asked them what it meant to be a “good girl.” Their answers were astounding! At the top of the list: having a boyfriend. This was a group of, well, “good girls.” They excelled in academics, athletics, band, drama and theater, 4-H, were leaders in their youth groups and model citizens…”Why did they need a boyfriend to be ‘good’?” I wondered. Apparently it was “just expected”: Having a boyfriend is just what a teenaged girl is supposed to do. Rachel Simmons’ research lined up with what these young women said about their lives. The Princess culture was their reality.

Finally, the Princess culture places a high premium on outer beauty. Interestingly enough, when Rachel Simmons was researching data for her book The Curse of the Good Girl, a group of middle-class teens identified a good girl as: “blue eyes…little girl…natural hair…skinny…Barbie…(and) Façade never cracks (emphasis mine, 2). The description of a “Good Girl” sounds eerily like that of the Princesses.

The Princesses’ interpersonal relationship skills, long-term partner choices, and high premium on outer beauty are sending a message to the young girls of today. I believe it our responsibility as stewards of these vulnerable lives to be informed consumers. We need not sit idly by.

Orenstein, Peggy. Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches From the Front Lines of the new Girlie-Girl Culture. New York: HarperCollins, 2011.

Simmons, Rachel. The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence. New York: Penguin Group, 2009.

- Alison Andrews, MA

Summer 2011

How Healthy Is Your Internet Use?

The electronic media plays no exception to the rules of supply and demand. As the demand for games, cybersex and computer relationships, information engines, and gambling rises, so does the supply. All of these experiences are readily available on the Internet. It is no wonder that the demand expands when these pleasurable activities offer not only anonymity but convenient and inexpensive access, complete control by its users, and for many, validation. The Internet allows its users to engage in activities they may not otherwise indulge in without these attractive qualities.

Worldwide in 2006, 1 billion people were active internet users. This is a drastic increase compared to a decade ago, and the number continues to grow not only North America, but around the world. With such a large population of active users, the line between healthy/“normal” use and compulsive/unhealthy use can be a hazy and slippery slope. Cyber addiction can be defined by compulsive game playing, chat room visiting, stock or market watching, sexual relationships, gambling, and other online activities. Compulsive Internet use is no longer restricted to young, introverted, computer savvy males. It is now found among every age, social, educational, and economic group.

A 54-year-old computer addict describes his experience:

‘I tried to combine playing the Net with a home life, so I moved the computer into the family room. My wife said she got to know the back of my head very well, maybe five hours a night. I would be hunched over the computer, occasionally throwing out some miscellaneous fact I had Googled in between playing solitaire, Minesweeper, or Sudoku.’

What are some of the symptoms of internet addiction?

· Logging on at every opportunity whether it be at home, work, or school

· Obsessive thoughts of internet use

· Feeling irritable or anxious when not engaged online

· Requiring more time on the Internet to achieve the same gratification

· Time flies; hours of Internet use feel like minutes

· Neglecting responsibilities

· Neglecting human relationships

· Eating in front of the monitor

· Checking email several times a day, including the middle of the night

· Increasing downloading use and messages posted

Suggestions to help alleviate internet addiction:

· Get professional help

· Take a break from the net (days to weeks)

· Engage in non-sedentary activities; exercise

· Tell others about your problem

· Create a usage log

· Never go online alone

· Move your computer to an alternate location

- Krissi Ernst, M.S.

Summer 2011

Friends and admirers memorialized the passing of Yi Kintner, wife of founder Dr. Burton Kintner, this spring with donations to the Kintner-Ross Endowment Fund. This Fund, created to honor Dr. Kintner and the Rev. R.J. Ross, the founding Executive Director, is managed by the Elkhart County Community Foundation. The intent of the Fund is to help ensure the continuity of the Samaritan Center’s mission of “healing, hope, and growth.”

The Samaritan Center is pleased to announce that Elkhart’s Still Dancing 2011 will be on Saturday, November 12^th in the Crystal Ballroom at the Lerner Theatre in downtown Elkhart. This year’s event committee is hard at work; if you have comments or suggestions, please email adminasst@elkhartsamaritan.org. Hope to see you there!

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Prairie Street Mennonite Church has joined the ranks of our Covenant Congregations. Featured to the left is the church leadership (from left, pastors Nelson Kraybill, Frances Ringenberg, Anne Mitchell). We are delighted to welcome Prairie Street as the 13th congregation with whom we partner in mutual ministry.

Summer 2011